At this time of writing @ precisely 1:40pm on 10.12.09, I am at the library in Selayang with my daughter and my son is away on his very 1st school trip to Penang, Langkawi and Cameron. He will be back tomorrow on 11.12.09 (my hubby, Yap Thiam Hin's birthday). What inspires me to write this is my sister's scrap book containing memories of dad's passing.
Yes, I need to start writing because these days, my black box is deteriorating and I suddenly feel that time is not slowing down and it's like with a split second, my mother left me and next my dad was also taken away. I just needed to write in hope that by the time I reach my golden year, the valuable moments in life will not fade away. It will be so sad not able to recall the fond memories then. With this, I hope I can complete my life with no regrets but pride.
I came into this world on 12.4.60 at 7pm at the Chinese Maternity Hospital in Kuala Lumpur. I am the 1st child in the family and I am the jewel at home where mom and dad adore me and shower me with love all the time. Then, came my sister and brother into the family in 1972 and 1978. My grandmother, Yong Kwai Fong was with us until her old age.
During school days, I recall mom used to wake up extra early just to prepare my breakfast and even prepare my lunch box. She will then walk me out to the main road and wait with me in the dark for my school bus, I was just too precious to her. I also recall memories when mom used to spend time with me in the bed, giving me aeroplane rides with her leg. I also used to share with her excitedly whenever she used to take out her favourite drawer to check out her precious items. Let's see, she has nice pendants, pouch, wallets, old photos, watches, souvenirs from oversea trips, etc. Then, she would tell me the details of each and every item over and over again and that she will give those few items to me when I get older. I was so attached to mom then that at one point, I told myself I just cannot live with mom in this world.
As for dad, he was not as lucky as me. I remember that he was from a poor upbringing where he used to stay with his aunt and eventually with mom's family who took pity of him back then. Didnt really know why his parents were not with him then. He struggled to make a living when he reached adulthood. He was a school teacher before he worked as a clerk in Tai Nam Tin Factory. He normally stay behind after work and was the last to leave the office. He always take initiative to make sure that all lights and fans are properly turn down. Soon, his boss noticed him and decided to give him opportunities. He then had the chance to climb the corporate ladder. He eventually set up his business jointly with public listed company, Yee Lee and was the Director in Can Pac Sdn Bhd. He worked hard and he succeeded in his career. However, he somehow lost his life to his success. When he was on duty, he had to entertain clients so much so that he was addicted to alcohol. Those years when his career went uphill, he ended up drunk on most nights. Until when he was getting old, at about 60's he decided to call it a quit and turn away from alcohol for good. By then, it was just too late, he died of carcinosarcoma (two types of aggresive cancer) at the duedonum. He left me on 20 April 2009.
I was not as close to him as to mom but I know he loves me dearly. He invested his savings in organ and piano lessons for me and my sister for almost ten years, drove us to Yamaha Music School in Jalan Campbell and patiently waited there for us. Mom told us it was dad's career insurance for us, in case we cannot find a good job in future, we can still make a living from teaching music. It was so thoughtful of him.
In nature, I was a naive and reserve girl. I was always protected and loved so much so that I just need not make any attempt to learn to be independent. It was just too comfortable and good. I was also blessed with mom's big family @ Chow's family where I have many cousins to keep me company during childhood. My best cousin sister, Helen Wong Siow Kwan used to share my bed and we had great time pillow talking on most weekends and also when mom followed dad on business trip overseas. I was not left alone. Helen was the one who secretly enlightened me about sex. She was my childhood buddy. We went for organ lessons together with my sister on every Sunday at Yamaha.
Need to pen off now, Jo Wen is late for her tuition at 3:30pm.
Life is so unpredictable. Just last Friday, my friend, Choy Wan met a freak accident. She was pounched by her neighbour's rotweler while she was doing gardening in front of her house with her maid. Though the dog didnt bite her but the impact of her fall had her landed in ICU at UMH. Surgeon had to operate on her head twice and at this point, she has yet to gain consciousness. It was a blow to the family. Life will be tough for Kok Cheong and the 3 kids at home. I hope GOD will take mercy and grant her a speedy recovery.
I can still remember well a day before mom left. It was 28.3.2007, a Sunday. We had our favourite porridge in Kajang together ie mom, dad, Kakak Endang, my family and brother's family . Jong Luen couldnt join us that day. After lunch, I remembered when we headed to the car, I looked behind and saw mom walked last, she was slow and looked haggard. I went back few steps and took her by her hand to the car. We went to a nursery next, to buy potted plants for their new house in Sungai Long. Mom waited in the car for almost an hour. She took few packets of peanut from her bag and offered to Thiam Hin while waiting. She also took mopiko from her bag for Jin Shen who had mosquito bite then. Later, we stopped over at Old Town in Sungai Long for coffee. Mom had her last favourite curry mee there. We talked about arranging steamboat for dad's birthday next Saturday. Thinking back, little do I know that that was the last of mom when she saw me at the door, bidding farewell. She asked me to take some oranges home but I politely declined then. That very morning, when I handed over two sets of bed sheet which she asked me to buy for her, she paid me two pieces of RM50 note (which I will treasure and keep forever in memory of her). I thanks GOD for every remembrance her.
Past midnight that day, at wee hours about 4am the next day, on 29.3.2007, I remember that I had goosebump in the middle of my sleep and I was feeling weird. Within the next hour, my brother called and he was crying terribly on the phone. Mom left! I was stunned and emotionless, somehow my subconcious anticipated it. Mom had complicated health problem and was seeing doctors at UKMH regularly. I used to drive her for her appointments. I knew she was weak with high blood pressure and high blood sugar. I used to scold her for not able to help herself and control her diet. She always says, as long as she can eat she eats and it eating cause her death, she doesnt mind. I kept giving her pressure and frightened her by telling her the consequences of ending up in hospital for the rest of her life. I still do not know whether I did her a favour or I just cause unnecessary upset to her.
I didnt understand her then. I always blame her for not interested or keen at most things like passing most tasks to kakak and couldnt bother to know where things are kept at home. It was only during her funeral did I realized that I was so wrong. It was not that she didnt care. She was too weak, no matter how much she wanted to be involved, she just didnt have the energy.
My bond with mom is so strong and special that I really believe she left behind a song for me in memory of her. I got her message; that song gave me peace and comfort throughout the entire ordeal. That song titled 'YOU LOVE ME' by Wu Bai. Thiam Hin played this song for the first time in his car and because it was a new song and he likes it, he played it repeatedly at that time when we made our journey to and fro Sungai Long for funeral services. It is amazing that somehow, unconciously not only me but my whole family were conditioned in a way that when we hear that song, we remember Mom. It was only a month later did I realize that special song from mom when my 7 year old daughter one day told me that she was scared when we heard that song again. At that moment, all of us in the family know why she was scared. She remembered Mom! Then only I knew Mom left me a gift.
I learnt many valuable lessons throughout my life and I am still learning. It aint easy especially when dealing with 'change' but I have to stay positive in order to see me through life. I am a lucky soul. Most people I come across in life are my 'kwai yan'. Even my adversaries will eventually become my friends most of the time. I have a balance character. I live a simple life.
At this point of writing, I am at the club lounge of Sheraton Guilin at 4:40pm. My hubby, son and daughter are busy at the computers.
We were at Yangshuo Mountain Retreat for 2 days before arriving here in Guilin. Yangshuo is truly the best place on earth by far. It is extremely beautiful with mountains and river surrounding it. It is so full of nature and peace. I had a splendid time and will definitely return someday. In fact, this little retreat welcomes guests to volunteer giving English lessons to the children in nearby villages. Probably I can offer myself when I return, maybe with Susan. We had a bamboo rafting trip down the river just in front of our retreat in a cooling weather (4C) and had great fun. Next day, we went for a countryside bike tour to Moon Hill, Banyan Tree and Water Cave. Had a great day too.
Overall, my Guilin holiday is wonderful. The only shortcoming is that I failed myself in terms of diet. I just enjoyed food too much and over ate. Salute to CALORIES!!!
Yes, I need to start writing because these days, my black box is deteriorating and I suddenly feel that time is not slowing down and it's like with a split second, my mother left me and next my dad was also taken away. I just needed to write in hope that by the time I reach my golden year, the valuable moments in life will not fade away. It will be so sad not able to recall the fond memories then. With this, I hope I can complete my life with no regrets but pride.
I came into this world on 12.4.60 at 7pm at the Chinese Maternity Hospital in Kuala Lumpur. I am the 1st child in the family and I am the jewel at home where mom and dad adore me and shower me with love all the time. Then, came my sister and brother into the family in 1972 and 1978. My grandmother, Yong Kwai Fong was with us until her old age.
During school days, I recall mom used to wake up extra early just to prepare my breakfast and even prepare my lunch box. She will then walk me out to the main road and wait with me in the dark for my school bus, I was just too precious to her. I also recall memories when mom used to spend time with me in the bed, giving me aeroplane rides with her leg. I also used to share with her excitedly whenever she used to take out her favourite drawer to check out her precious items. Let's see, she has nice pendants, pouch, wallets, old photos, watches, souvenirs from oversea trips, etc. Then, she would tell me the details of each and every item over and over again and that she will give those few items to me when I get older. I was so attached to mom then that at one point, I told myself I just cannot live with mom in this world.
As for dad, he was not as lucky as me. I remember that he was from a poor upbringing where he used to stay with his aunt and eventually with mom's family who took pity of him back then. Didnt really know why his parents were not with him then. He struggled to make a living when he reached adulthood. He was a school teacher before he worked as a clerk in Tai Nam Tin Factory. He normally stay behind after work and was the last to leave the office. He always take initiative to make sure that all lights and fans are properly turn down. Soon, his boss noticed him and decided to give him opportunities. He then had the chance to climb the corporate ladder. He eventually set up his business jointly with public listed company, Yee Lee and was the Director in Can Pac Sdn Bhd. He worked hard and he succeeded in his career. However, he somehow lost his life to his success. When he was on duty, he had to entertain clients so much so that he was addicted to alcohol. Those years when his career went uphill, he ended up drunk on most nights. Until when he was getting old, at about 60's he decided to call it a quit and turn away from alcohol for good. By then, it was just too late, he died of carcinosarcoma (two types of aggresive cancer) at the duedonum. He left me on 20 April 2009.
I was not as close to him as to mom but I know he loves me dearly. He invested his savings in organ and piano lessons for me and my sister for almost ten years, drove us to Yamaha Music School in Jalan Campbell and patiently waited there for us. Mom told us it was dad's career insurance for us, in case we cannot find a good job in future, we can still make a living from teaching music. It was so thoughtful of him.
In nature, I was a naive and reserve girl. I was always protected and loved so much so that I just need not make any attempt to learn to be independent. It was just too comfortable and good. I was also blessed with mom's big family @ Chow's family where I have many cousins to keep me company during childhood. My best cousin sister, Helen Wong Siow Kwan used to share my bed and we had great time pillow talking on most weekends and also when mom followed dad on business trip overseas. I was not left alone. Helen was the one who secretly enlightened me about sex. She was my childhood buddy. We went for organ lessons together with my sister on every Sunday at Yamaha.
Need to pen off now, Jo Wen is late for her tuition at 3:30pm.
Life is so unpredictable. Just last Friday, my friend, Choy Wan met a freak accident. She was pounched by her neighbour's rotweler while she was doing gardening in front of her house with her maid. Though the dog didnt bite her but the impact of her fall had her landed in ICU at UMH. Surgeon had to operate on her head twice and at this point, she has yet to gain consciousness. It was a blow to the family. Life will be tough for Kok Cheong and the 3 kids at home. I hope GOD will take mercy and grant her a speedy recovery.
I can still remember well a day before mom left. It was 28.3.2007, a Sunday. We had our favourite porridge in Kajang together ie mom, dad, Kakak Endang, my family and brother's family . Jong Luen couldnt join us that day. After lunch, I remembered when we headed to the car, I looked behind and saw mom walked last, she was slow and looked haggard. I went back few steps and took her by her hand to the car. We went to a nursery next, to buy potted plants for their new house in Sungai Long. Mom waited in the car for almost an hour. She took few packets of peanut from her bag and offered to Thiam Hin while waiting. She also took mopiko from her bag for Jin Shen who had mosquito bite then. Later, we stopped over at Old Town in Sungai Long for coffee. Mom had her last favourite curry mee there. We talked about arranging steamboat for dad's birthday next Saturday. Thinking back, little do I know that that was the last of mom when she saw me at the door, bidding farewell. She asked me to take some oranges home but I politely declined then. That very morning, when I handed over two sets of bed sheet which she asked me to buy for her, she paid me two pieces of RM50 note (which I will treasure and keep forever in memory of her). I thanks GOD for every remembrance her.
Past midnight that day, at wee hours about 4am the next day, on 29.3.2007, I remember that I had goosebump in the middle of my sleep and I was feeling weird. Within the next hour, my brother called and he was crying terribly on the phone. Mom left! I was stunned and emotionless, somehow my subconcious anticipated it. Mom had complicated health problem and was seeing doctors at UKMH regularly. I used to drive her for her appointments. I knew she was weak with high blood pressure and high blood sugar. I used to scold her for not able to help herself and control her diet. She always says, as long as she can eat she eats and it eating cause her death, she doesnt mind. I kept giving her pressure and frightened her by telling her the consequences of ending up in hospital for the rest of her life. I still do not know whether I did her a favour or I just cause unnecessary upset to her.
I didnt understand her then. I always blame her for not interested or keen at most things like passing most tasks to kakak and couldnt bother to know where things are kept at home. It was only during her funeral did I realized that I was so wrong. It was not that she didnt care. She was too weak, no matter how much she wanted to be involved, she just didnt have the energy.
My bond with mom is so strong and special that I really believe she left behind a song for me in memory of her. I got her message; that song gave me peace and comfort throughout the entire ordeal. That song titled 'YOU LOVE ME' by Wu Bai. Thiam Hin played this song for the first time in his car and because it was a new song and he likes it, he played it repeatedly at that time when we made our journey to and fro Sungai Long for funeral services. It is amazing that somehow, unconciously not only me but my whole family were conditioned in a way that when we hear that song, we remember Mom. It was only a month later did I realize that special song from mom when my 7 year old daughter one day told me that she was scared when we heard that song again. At that moment, all of us in the family know why she was scared. She remembered Mom! Then only I knew Mom left me a gift.
I learnt many valuable lessons throughout my life and I am still learning. It aint easy especially when dealing with 'change' but I have to stay positive in order to see me through life. I am a lucky soul. Most people I come across in life are my 'kwai yan'. Even my adversaries will eventually become my friends most of the time. I have a balance character. I live a simple life.
At this point of writing, I am at the club lounge of Sheraton Guilin at 4:40pm. My hubby, son and daughter are busy at the computers.
We were at Yangshuo Mountain Retreat for 2 days before arriving here in Guilin. Yangshuo is truly the best place on earth by far. It is extremely beautiful with mountains and river surrounding it. It is so full of nature and peace. I had a splendid time and will definitely return someday. In fact, this little retreat welcomes guests to volunteer giving English lessons to the children in nearby villages. Probably I can offer myself when I return, maybe with Susan. We had a bamboo rafting trip down the river just in front of our retreat in a cooling weather (4C) and had great fun. Next day, we went for a countryside bike tour to Moon Hill, Banyan Tree and Water Cave. Had a great day too.
Overall, my Guilin holiday is wonderful. The only shortcoming is that I failed myself in terms of diet. I just enjoyed food too much and over ate. Salute to CALORIES!!!
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