Today is a gloomy day on 3 November 2010. Aunt Alice text me at 3pm this afternoon, informed that tai kau foo has just passed away. I am now on my swing chair dad bought me, trying to recollect the memories of him. I shed tears for him, feel very sad and helpless. He will be missed. Still remember our norm when he always join us for our reunion dinners and that he love mom's fried tomato big prawns as much as I do. After dinner, he would share some light moments with dad over a few glasses of brandy. He was dad's best companion. He died of cancer after a struggle of almost three years. Last week, when I visited him at UKM, he was extremely weak and was bedridden. I saw teary eyes in a strong man and felt so sorry for him. Yes, he was suffering in pain and ready to go. He has acknowledged the cruel fact and was putting up a brave front for us. I knew he was bidding his last farewell when we were at the door. Now that he has gone, I pray that he will find peace in the next world. It's so heartbroken to see the old ones leaving one after the other, I just wish time can slow down for all of us....
It's 1am past midnight on 5 November 2010 on Deepavali Day. Couldnt sleep due to the fireworks outside. I am missing dad at this moment. Just got home from tai mau foo funeral. Learnt from tai kam mo that he was choked to death by milk on that day. She thanked us for the bird nest we bought him at UKM just last week. He left behind 2 bottles out of the half dozen. Was glad that he managed to enjoy the bird nest and that we also bid him farewell at UKM. Was also told that prior to his demise, he dreamt of dad twice. Dad was selling coconut juiceand he said that he will be visiting dad in Cheras soon. He knew his time is up. Coincidently, he left on the very same date as tai yi on the lunar calendar. Perhaps that is the brother sister chemistry. I am missing dad so dearly now. At the funeral, 4th uncle again reminded me that dad loves me the most. I knew it's a message from dad. I feel so sorry to dad for not able to love him as much as he does. Up to this day, he and mom have instill so much love in me that almost everything I do, I feel loved and blessed. I was so protected and have their blessing no matter what I do. They made me feel so special in this world. I wanted to have mom's gold chain and pendant she used to wear but dad gave it to brother. I didnt understand until dad gave me his. Then only I realized his reasoning, it's his unconditional love for me. He said it represents his blessing from above. I am so sorry that I didnt understand his kind intention then. I really hope on this deepavali, I can meet him in my dream to say I'm sorry!
After funeral, we dropped by San Peng road and had our old time bubur cha cha. Surprisingly, the stall was still there by the road side after almost 10 years we didnt go there. Introduced our favourite dessert to the kids and told them stories of those days. They love it:) Showed them Helen and Pong old flat and recalled some precious memories. I did shared bed with Helen on few occasion at that place.
No comments:
Post a Comment