21.2.12 - I am feeling on top of the world now because I feel in control. Yesterday, I promised myself that I will not scold my kids anymore and so far I did it. I will have better control and talk nicely to them instead. They are growing up day by day and fast too. I wish time can slow down before they eventually leave home for studies. I will miss them badly. So far, they have been good and obedient. I am so proud of them. They deserve my utmost respect.
I overlooked my goal. Why should I force myself to socialize, make friends, set good impression, etc. It is all about me. I got it all wrong. It should be about my family. I have better things to do in life at this stage. I should use my energy and efforts on my kids instead. I should do more for them, give more quality time and guide them to become a good person. That should be my goal. I love them and I hope they love their strict mom too. Strict mom tends to make good children and they are my good children.
My kids tend to ask what's wrong when they look at me. That day, when JW asked me what's wrong. I asked her why they both like to as me that question. Then she told me it's because she thinks I looked sad and angry. Told her nothing is wrong. It's just stress in life, stress from a lot of things like getting them to bathe, wash their mouth and hands, comb their hair, drink more water, etc. Then she said that I can just tell them to do so and need not scold them:) Well well, she is teaching me a lesson here. It cause no harm to just calm down and take it easy. Phew! Now on, I must be in control, steady, calm and nice. Less stress......
I also remember mom used to have that same sour face all the time. I guess I am like what she was at a particular stage. Too bad, I was not intelligent enough to offer her the same advice my dear gal gave me. Thanks to her!
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